I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
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