she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
