Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
