So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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