His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
