i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Randomize
