Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I love you.
Bad choice
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