I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
