dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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