Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Can't talk, ducks in the car
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
