Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize
