sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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