Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just had sex on a roof
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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