I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
