shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize