Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
My friends, they love my intelligence
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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