Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
