Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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