She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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