i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
