If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize