You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize