i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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