I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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