so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Randomize
