I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
