that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize