Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
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