with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
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