i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
