eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize