is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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