just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
You ate ashes out of my bong
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Randomize
