I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Randomize