Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
