Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
