Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
