I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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