WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
