who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
