remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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