where am i from again
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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