White coat. Heels.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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