She's JV to your varsity
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
