What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
