he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
