Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
