if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
