that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
