Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
