problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Randomize