i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
this hospital has no fireball
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
