Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
