Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
