i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
