I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
