i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
