No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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