Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
