What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
We're too hungover to prance.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
