There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Randomize
