So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize