Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
