Pregnant stripper...not hot.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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