How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
