For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
