Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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