just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize