i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Randomize